Down to 4mg

I have another cold so I'm holding off on any more Methotrexate treatments for another week, but at the start of May, I dropped my prednisone down to 4mg. Whoo-hoo.

An Only Child

I am an only child and I loved it growing up. It has only been since I became an adult that being an only bothered me at all.

Being an only child made me more creative. I had to be able to entertain myself when I was growing up and now I am always in the middle of 6 different projects. :) It made me more of an achiever because my parents were able to give me so much undivided attention and structure. I am sure I cared more about pleasing my parents than I would have if I had had siblings. I think I stayed out of trouble and worked harder because there was no one else to hide behind. I also think it fostered a love of learning.

The only thing that was difficult about being an only child was defending my parent's decision to other people. I was often asked why I didn't have any brothers or sisters. For some reason a lot of people really frown on only children. Only children have a (IMHO undeserved) reputation for being selfish, antisocial and greedy. People would often backhandedly compliment me, "Oh, I am surprised you share so well since you are an only child. Was it hard to learn how to do?"

As an adult however, being an only child has been harder. My parents are divorced and my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer about 5 years ago. It really fell to me to take care of her. I really wish there had been someone else to share that burden with. Now that both my parents are aging, I am even more worried about taking care of them alone as the years go by.

Sometimes I also feel like I'm in a spot light. Everything I do is magnified and my parents pay a lot of attention to every little thing I do. If I had siblings, I think they wouldn't be so focused on me because their attention would be divided between us.

I had mostly decided I wanted more than 1 child for some of the reasons listed above, but I became sick soon after Amelia was born and the treatments have damaged my ovaries. There is now very little chance that I will be able to have more children. I didn't think about it much before I had Amelia, but now that the decision has been taken away from me, I think about it all the time.

Ups and Downs

Everyone recovered from their colds. I saw Dr. A again a couple of weeks ago and he dropped my prednisone down to 5mg. I didn't really have any side effects from that. He also raised my methotrexate to 17.5, which has made me feel a little worse. It gives me headaches and some more nausea. Dr. L told me to double my folic acid the day I take my methotrexate and the day after. I don't really think that has helped much though.

All in all, I think I am doing really well. Dr. A said I could get out more and didn't have to be so restricted with being in public like I was on the Cytoxan. So a few days ago I decided to take Amelia into the grocery store to pick up some formula. Of course, she spent the entire time running her mouth all over the handle of the cart. I couldn't stop her. I was just thinking, "Well, this is going to make her sick again. We're all going to end up with the flu!" Of course her nose started running yesterday and she is cranky. I am hoping it's just cause she is getting a new tooth (her 6th one!)

A Dreaded Cold

Well, despite my best efforts, I have caught a cold. Amelia has it too. I dropped my prednisone last Wednesday and started feeling bad on Thursday. I had a sore throat and a lot of congestion. I started coughing again. I never ran a fever so I thought I was having a Wegner's flair, but then Amelia's nose started running too and my stepmom (who I had been around the previous weekend) called and said she was sick also. On Monday, I called Dr. Awadh and he told me to increase my prednisone again and to stop the Methotrexate for the time being. He also preventively put me on a z-pack of antibiotics since I am such a high risk of an opportunistic secondary bacterial infection. I am still sick, but feeling a little better. Poor Amelia was up most of last night though. She is cutting a new tooth too. :(

Methotrexate Increase and a Prednisone Drop

I feel awful today. I am coughing some and congested. I have a headache and am exhausted. I dropped my Prednisone from 7.5mg to 6.0mg yesterday and I think it's effecting me alot. Ugh.

I've been on the Methotrexate 2 months and Dr Awadh has increased my dose to 6 pills a week. It makes me feel pretty nauseated at the start of the week (I take it on Sunday night). I also think it makes me moody, but I don't know if that is supposed to be a side effect.. maybe I'm just moody because I feel bad.

Goodbye Cytoxan

I should have thought about my pills a little longer before I took them this morning. It may have been the last time I ever take Cytoxan again.

I saw Dr. Awadh today and am happy to report that he is switching me from the Cytoxan to Methotrexate. My latest lung CT scan showed that both of my lesions had shrunk and I haven't had joint pain or other WG symptoms for months. I knew I was a lot better during this lung CT Scan. The last one was sooo hard for me. I kept coughing during it and could hardly hold my breath for the required 15 second intervals. This time it was a piece of cake.

I am very happy to be getting off the Cytoxan. I think I've been getting pretty fatigued and nauseated from it. I have just been feeling pretty icky the past week, although maybe that is from the augmentin. Luckily I am done with that now too. I am picking up the Methotrexate from Walgreen's tomorrow and will start taking a once weekly dose on Friday.

Ross started up his contracting position and all seems to be going well with his job. It is pretty nice to have things getting back to normal. The only real problem recently has been that either my mom or Jeff has been sick since I moved home. I haven't really been able to see my mom for a long time. She sends me emails all the time about how much she misses seeing Amelia and me.

Nails Again

I'm down to 10mg of Prednisone. Every week the drop makes me feel a little bad (headache, nausea) for a couple of days, but then I recover.

Although, I have actually been doing a pretty good job not biting my nails, one of them got infected again. My pinky nail broke off and I really don't even remember biting at it, but I must have. In any case, Dr. Awadh had given me refills on my Augmentin prescription and so I got it refilled. I've been taking it for over a week and it makes me feel pretty bad. I've been sick to my stomach and have lost my appetite some. Losing my appetite is a good thing I guess, since I've gained so much weight on the prednisone.

At least Miss Amelia has been sleeping though the night again. :)