I am a little blue tonight... I don't think I have any good reason to be feeling this way. Well, I should say that I don't have any more reason than normal.
I guess I was thinking about Ross and my 6 year anniversary that is coming up pretty soon and how we probably can't go out to brunch at Benton's like we normally do because 1) I need to avoid crowded places and 2) I really shouldn't be eating at a buffet. So that makes me a little sad, but I guess it's bigger than that too. This situation is just not at all where I thought I would be 6 years after getting married. Our lives feel so turned upside down right now... I know things will get sorted out. I know we will be happy and healthy again eventually. But this anniversary is really highlighting the unexpectedness of my illness and its unpleasant repercussions.
I just read a quote that I thought summed up my thoughts for tonight nicely: "The definition of unhappiness is the distance between they way things are, and they way you think they should be." I guess that ties in closely with one of the 4 Noble Truths of Buddhism: Suffering is caused by desire. Maybe I will think about that tonight. It is sometimes hard to accept what you have and not wish for something else though.
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